My wife and I got stuck in an elevator and when we got home, we told the story to our kids.

They just looked at us and said. “Soooo….. …did ya get out? “Soooo….. …did ya get out?”

My wife and I looked at each other and made a pact to go ahead and start drinking away their college fund.

2nd joke of the day: My wife just had her eye removed

My wife just had her eye removed and she’s quite upset about it.

To cheer her up, I told her I was having it embalmed, encased in glass and put on a keychain so I could always have it near me.

Wife: “Why the f**k would you want to do that?!” she yelled.

Me: “Well, this way I’ll always be near solid wife-eye”