Wife: honey can you plz help me cleaning the garden.
Husband: do I look like a gardener?
Wife: Ooh sorry honey, OK then fix the bathroom door.
Husband: do I look like a carpenter?…..
Then husband walks out, after coming back from were he went, he found the garden cleaned and the door fixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself….!
Wife: no its not me.
Husband: who then!
Wife: our neighbor
Husband: you paid him how much?
Wife: No, he just gave me two options, bread or s**x….
Husband: I hope u gave him bread Wife: do I look like a bakery!!!