“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny,
“can you give me twenty dollars?”
“Certainly not!” answered his mother.
“If you do,”
Little Johnny went on,
“I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
“Well? what did he say?”
“He said, ‘Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.’”
A guy enters a bar and orders
A guy enters a bar and orders two shots of vodka.
He drinks the first and dumps the second on his right hand.
He then orders a second round of shots, drinks the first and again dumps the second on his right hand.
The bartender sees this and becomes curious as the guy orders a third round and does the exact same thing.
So the bartender asks the guy, “Hey man, I hope you don’t mind me asking but why the waste of good drinks?”
So the man says, “I have to get my date drunk.”