Little Johnny had always been a curious and mischievous kid, but his latest escapade left his father scratching his head—and Johnny sporting a black eye. It all started when Johnny came home from Catholic school one afternoon, his face bruised and his spirits surprisingly high. His father, upon seeing the injury, immediately launched into a lecture. “Johnny,” he said sternly, “how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys? This is not how we behave!”
Johnny, ever the quick thinker, looked up at his father with wide, innocent eyes. “But Dad, it wasn’t my fault! We were all in church saying our prayers, just like we’re supposed to. Everything was fine until we all stood up. That’s when I noticed my teacher, who was standing in front of me, had her dress stuck in the crack of her back. I thought I was doing her a favor, so I reached over and pulled it out. And that’s when she hit me!”
His father sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Johnny,” he said, trying to remain patient, “you don’t do those kinds of things to women. It’s not appropriate. You need to think before you act, especially in church!” Johnny nodded solemnly, promising to be more careful in the future.
But, as it turned out, Johnny’s lesson in etiquette wasn’t quite over. The very next day, he came home with his other eye black and blue. His father, now thoroughly exasperated, threw his hands in the air. “Johnny! I thought we had a talk about this yesterday! What happened this time?”
Johnny, looking even more innocent than before, began to explain. “But Dad, it really wasn’t my fault this time either! We were in church again, saying our prayers, just like always. When we all stood up, my teacher was in front of us, and her dress got stuck in the crack of her back again. This time, Bob—the kid sitting next to me—saw it and reached over to pull it out. Now, I remembered what you told me about not doing that kind of thing to women, so I knew she wouldn’t like it. So, I pushed it back in! And that’s when she hit me!”
His father stared at him, torn between frustration and the urge to laugh. “Johnny,” he said slowly, “you’ve got to stop getting involved in these situations. Just… keep your hands to yourself, okay?” Johnny nodded, though it was clear he was still trying to figure out where he’d gone wrong.
The story of Little Johnny’s misadventures in church quickly became a family legend, told and retold with equal parts exasperation and amusement. It served as a reminder that sometimes, even the best intentions can lead to trouble—especially when you’re a curious kid with a knack for finding yourself in the middle of awkward situations. And as for Johnny? Well, let’s just say he learned the hard way that not all good deeds go unpunished.