We all have a story or two about an ex we’d prefer to forget, and our readers certainly didn’t hold back. They shared some jaw-dropping, cringe-worthy, and downright hilarious tales of exes who are best left in the past.
- Cheers to the Memories: After our breakup, I was at a bar with friends when I spotted my ex. I sent him a drink with a note saying, “Cheers to the memories!” He replied with a note that read, “Cheers to my next victim!” Suddenly, he jumped up and started karaoke-ing our breakup song off-key, causing the whole bar to erupt in laughter. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, he pulled out a cardboard cutout of me, claiming it was his “emotional support ex.” In his attempt to throw it at me, he accidentally knocked over a table. The bartender handed me a free drink, saying, “Here’s to surviving your nightmare!” By the end of the night, we were the stars of the show, and I felt like I’d dodged a bullet!
- Google Calendar Sabotage: My ex hacked into my Google Calendar and added a bunch of embarrassing events titled things like “Cry Session,” “Remember You’re Alone,” and “Rejection Practice.” Creative, but it felt like a daily reminder of my heartbreak! After a week, I received an invite to a “Self-Care Workshop” hosted by him. Curious, I clicked the link and found out he was running a virtual seminar on emotional healing, using the very events he’d added to my calendar as discussion points!
- Hair Locket Mystery: My ex gave me a vintage silver locket. After we broke up, I tossed it in a drawer. A year later, my new boyfriend found it while cleaning. “Why don’t you wear it? It’s nice,” he said, handing it to me. Curious, we pried it open, expecting nothing, but inside was a brittle note and a tiny lock of hair. The note read: “So you’ll always be with me.” The hair? It was mine.
- Parking Spot Pettiness: My ex knew my favorite parking spot in front of my building and somehow got a sign installed that read “Reserved for [his name].” Every time I tried to park there, I was reminded of his name. It was so absurd that even my neighbors laughed about it. Eventually, the sign was removed, but I’ll never forget that petty gesture.
- The Case of the Missing Socks: After we broke up, I noticed random pairs of my socks were missing. It turned out my ex had taken one sock from each pair before leaving, leaving me with a collection of mismatched socks. It took forever to rebuild my sock collection, and I still occasionally find an odd one he must have missed.
- The Lost Cat Ruse: After our breakup, my ex became overly enthusiastic about being a “cat person.” He started a Facebook group called “Looking for My Lost Cat,” posting pictures of random neighborhood cats with captions like, “Maybe he’s at [my name]’s house!” I had to block him after receiving dozens of messages from friends trying to help him find his “lost” cat.
- Midnight Caller: My ex calls me from different numbers at 2 a.m., pretending to be various people. It’s relentless. Even after blocking many numbers, I never know when the next call will come.
- The Everywhere Ex: No matter where I went—grocery store, gym, concert—he would “happen” to be there. The strange part was that I never told him where I’d be, so he clearly went out of his way to track me down. He’d act surprised each time, asking, “Oh, funny seeing you here! Do you come here often?” It felt like living in a small town with only one shop, one gym, and one restaurant.
- Uninvited Family Guest: Even after our breakup, she still shows up uninvited at my family gatherings, acting like nothing happened. My family doesn’t want to be rude, so they let her stay, but I feel trapped.
- Pet Custody Drama: He insisted on keeping our dog, but every time I see a picture, it’s clear he’s not taking good care of him. I’m tempted to start a legal battle just for the dog’s sake.
- Social Media Stalker: Whenever I started seeing someone new, my ex would somehow find out and start following them on social media, even sending DMs. He’d hint that I was “still in love with him” or that I’d been “seeing other people” while we were still together, which wasn’t true. It made dating a nightmare because I had to explain that my ex was a part-time stalker.
- Friend Sabotage: He started hanging out with one of my closest friends, using their hangouts to send me messages or reminisce about “the good old days.” I ended up losing my friend because she thought I was overreacting by wanting to keep my distance.
- ER Fakeout: Once, he texted me in the middle of the night, claiming he was in the ER and had no one else to reach out to. I rushed over, worried about his health, only to find him sitting there completely fine. He just wanted to see me and knew I wouldn’t ignore an emergency.
- Catfishing Myself: After we broke up, my ex created fake dating profiles, pretending to be people who wanted to date me. We’d chat online, and just when I thought it was genuine, “he” would reveal something painfully personal that only my ex would know. It felt like he wanted to lure me back by pretending to be a perfect partner, only to remind me how “no one else knows me” like he does.
- Private Investigator Drama: I found out my ex hired a private investigator to follow me, claiming he…