Husband: Knocks the door at midnight.
Wife: Go back where you coming from!
Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool!
Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care?
So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool.
!!!!..Scheweew..!!!! Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool.
The husband quickly sneaks into the house then locks the door.
Wife: Open the door or I will shout!!
Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wakes up and comes here.
Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only undergarments!
2nd joke: A woman awakes during the night
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room, “Why are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee and says, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes I do,” she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?”
“Yes, I remember,” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued… “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?’”
“I remember that too,” she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said…”I would have gotten out today.”