Our neighbor stuck a note to our car: “One car per house!”
Then one day, she showed up in person.
I opened the door. There stood a woman in a pastel pink cardigan, a matching headband, and white capri pants.
“Our HOA—very friendly, but firm—has a rule about cars,” she said. “Only one car per household in the driveway.”
I blinked. “One car?”
“Yes,” she said, her tone tightening. “No exceptions. Keeps the neighborhood looking nice and tidy.”
Jack raised his eyebrows. “But we’re not parking on the street. Both cars fit on the driveway just fine.”
“I know,” she said with a little head tilt. “But it’s still two cars. One house. One driveway. One car. Rules apply to everyone.”
Then she left.
We decided to ignore it. But three days later, we woke up to our cars being towed.
We ran outside—and there she was, grinning widely.
ME: “Wow! You really did it, huh?”
HER: “What’s so funny?!”
ME: “Nothing. Just the fact that you owe us $25,000 now.”
HER: nervous gulp “What—what do you mean?”
I pointed at the car’s tag and chuckled out loud. “Bet you didn’t get what that mark means!”
Her smug smile wavered. She leaned closer, squinting at the small holographic decal stamped on the plates.
“That’s not… normal,” she muttered.
“Nope,” I said, crossing my arms. “That tag means these cars are part of a federal contract. They’re leased to us through my job. And do you know what happens when someone interferes with federal property?”
Jack grinned. “They pay. A lot.”
Her face drained of color. “I—I was just enforcing HOA rules. Surely—”
“Surely nothing,” I cut her off. “We already called the leasing office. They’re filing a claim. Guess who’s on the hook for damages and penalties?”
She stammered, clutching her pastel cardigan like it could protect her. “But—but the HOA—”
“Funny thing about the HOA,” I said with a smirk. “I checked the bylaws last night. That whole ‘one car per house’ nonsense? Not a rule. Not anywhere. Which means…”
Jack finished my sentence: “…you acted completely on your own.”
Her mouth opened and closed like a fish, but no words came out. For the first time, she looked small.
And then, from behind us, another neighbor’s voice rang out:
“Finally! Someone put her in her place.”
We turned. Half the block was standing on their lawns, watching. Some even clapped.
Turns out, pastel-pink-cardigan-lady had been making everyone’s lives miserable with fake rules and self-appointed authority.
Now? She wasn’t just in trouble with us. She was about to face the entire neighborhood.
Her face flushed beet red as the clapping grew louder. Someone shouted, “Checkmate, Linda!” Another neighbor whistled.
She spun around, scanning the crowd, as if searching for a lifeline. But no one came to her defense.
Jack folded his arms. “Looks like you’ve been making up rules for a while, huh?”
One neighbor, Mr. Patel, stepped forward. “Last month she told me I couldn’t plant sunflowers in my front yard. Said it violated HOA guidelines. I checked—nothing in there about flowers.”
“And she told my kids they couldn’t use chalk on the sidewalk,” another woman added. “Said it was ‘graffiti.’”
A ripple of agreement spread across the group. Dozens of little grievances, all tied to her pastel cardigan and smug smile.
Now, her authority was crumbling.
I leaned in just enough for her to hear me. “See, the thing about trying to control everyone else’s property? Eventually, people realize you’ve got no real power.”
Jack grinned. “And when you mess with the wrong car—well, you pay the price.”
She tried to protest, but it was drowned out by the chorus of voices. The neighborhood, once silent under her rule, had finally found its voice.
By the end of the week, she had more than just our $25,000 penalty to deal with. A formal complaint was filed against her at the HOA board meeting. Neighbors lined up with their stories, each one exposing her fake rules and harassment.
The board voted unanimously: she was removed from her “community liaison” position and fined heavily for misconduct.
Her pastel cardigans became a rare sight after that. She stopped patrolling the streets, stopped sliding notes under doors, stopped peeking over fences.
The neighborhood felt lighter. Freer.
And every time I pulled into the driveway with both cars parked neatly side by side, I smiled. Because now, instead of a threat, it felt like a victory.