Two men were marooned on an Island.
One man passed back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself.
The first man said to the second man, “aren’t you afraid we are about to die.”
“No,” said the second man,
“for you see I make $100,000 per week and I tithe faithfully to my church ever week
2nd Joke: A pirate goes into a bar
A pirate goes into a bar and the bartender says:
“Long time since I’ve seen you, man, you look terrible.”
The pirate says: “I feel fine.”
The bartender says: “Well, you didn’t have that wooden leg last time I saw you.”
“Well, I got into a battle and a cannon ball hit me in the leg, but I’m OK.”
“Well, you didn’t have that hook on your arm either.”
The pirate says: “Got in a sword fight and lost my hand.”
The bartender says: “What about the eye patch?”
The pirate replies: “Well, a bunch of sea gulls flew over the boat and when I looked up one of them shit on my eye.”
The bartender says: “How did that make you lose your eye?”
The pirate replies: “It was the first day with the hook.”