Two wives go out for girls’ night.
Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee.
They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with.
One used her panties, the other grabbed a wreath off of a grave.
The next morning one husband called the other and said, ‘no more girls night out!
My wife came back with no panties.’ The other husband said, ‘you think that’s bad?
Mine came back with a card in her crack that read, “from all of us at the fire station, we’ll never forget you!”‘”
2nd joke: The first nun goes into the confessional
Four nuns are standing in line for confession.
The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts.
The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?”
The nun replies, “My right hand.”
The priest tells her to dip her right hand in holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven.
The second nun goes into the confessional and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts.”
The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?”
The nun replies, “My left hand.”
The priest tells her to dip her left hand in the holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven.
Well, this leaves the third and fourth nun standing in line.
The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and asks, “Would you mind if I went first?”
The third nun says, “Sure I don’t care, but would mind telling me why?”
The fourth nun replies, “Well, I would like to drink the water before you have to sit in it!