joke 1
Prisoner: Jailer, can I ask you something?
Jailer: Go ahead.
Prisoner: Do you love your wife?
Jailer: Of course I do!
Prisoner: Would you do anything for her?
Jailer: Absolutely!
Prisoner: Would you go to prison for her?
Jailer: Never!
Prisoner: Why not?
Jailer: Because I love my freedom!
Prisoner: Then, sir, you haven’t been married to my wife! 😂🤣
joke 2
Wife: Tell me something romantic.
Husband: You’re the sunshine of my life.
Wife: Aww! Anything else?
Husband: You’re the queen of my heart.
Wife: Oh, honey!
Husband: And you’re the reason my hair is falling out!
Wife: And you’re the reason my patience is running out! 😂
joke 3
Boss: You’re late again! What’s your excuse this time?
Employee: Sir, I was following my dreams.
Boss: What does that have to do with being late?
Employee: My dreams took me back to bed. 😂🤣
joke 4
Dad: Son, do you think we are a happy family?
Child: Yes.
Mom: Aww, that’s sweet!
Dad: See? He thinks we’re happy.
Child: Yes, because whenever you two fight, I get to eat popcorn. 😂🍿
joke 5
Boss: You called in sick yesterday. What happened?
Employee: I wasn’t feeling well.
Boss: Are you feeling better today?
Employee: Yes.
Boss: Good.
Employee: My salary came in, so I’m feeling much better. 🤣
joke 6
Two days before my wife’s birthday,
I asked her what her bra size was.
“Ooh,” she said.
“Thinking of getting me a new one?”
I said, “No. I just wanted to see how they compared with your sister’s.” 😂🤣
joke 7
Husband: Honey, your cooking is getting better!
Wife: Really? You finally appreciate my talent?
Husband: Yes. Even the dog ate your dinner last night.
Wife: And your jokes are getting better, too.
Husband: Really?
Wife: Yes. Even the dog laughed at you!
Husband: At least someone in this house appreciates me! 🤣
joke 8
Blonde: Doctor, will I live to be 100?
Doctor: Do you smoke?
Blonde: No.
Doctor: Do you drink?
Blonde: No.
Doctor: Do you party or go out late at night?
Blonde: Never.
Doctor: Then why do you want to live to be 100?
Blonde: Because I want to see if my husband will finally stop annoying me! 😂🤣
joke 9
Blonde: Doctor, I want to lose 20 pounds in a week.
Doctor: That’s impossible.
Blonde: But I saw an advertisement that promised it!
Doctor: Don’t believe everything you read.
Blonde: So what should I do?
Doctor: Exercise and eat healthy.
Blonde: Can I exercise while eating? 🤣
joke 10
Wife: Our neighbor says you’ve been visiting his wife.
Husband: That’s ridiculous!
Wife: Then why was your car outside his house?
Husband: I was visiting him!
Wife: At midnight?
Husband: Yes!
Wife: Fine. I was visiting him too.
Husband: Then we should stop meeting at the same house! 🤣