A cat dies and goes to heaven.
God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years.”
“Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”
The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”
God says, “Say no more.”
Instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice die and go to heaven.
God meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made the cat.
The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us.”
“If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”
God says, “Say no more.”
And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing.
The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow.
God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”
The cat yawns, stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life,…”
“Those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”
2nd joke: The Goat And The Horse Story
There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat.
One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus
He must take this medicine for three days
I’ll come back on the 3rd day and if he’s not better, we’re going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat approached the horse and said: Be strong, my friend
Get up or else they’re going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat came back and said: Come on buddy, get up or else you’re going to die! Come on, I’ll help you get up
Let’s go! One, two, three…
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: Unfortunately, we’re going to have to put him down tomorrow
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it’s now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That’s it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three… Good, good
Now faster, come on… Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you’re a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It’s a miracle! My horse is cured
We must have a grand party
Let’s Cook the goat!!!!
Lesson: Management never knows which employee actually deserves the appraisal.