it’s the height of summer when a Highway Patrolman pulls over a driver for speeding. As he writes the ticket, flies keep buzzing around his head, driving him crazy.

“Flies sure are bad this year, huh?” the driver comments.

“Yeah,” the officer replies, “if these are circle flies, you’re right. But I’ve never heard of a circle fly before. What’s that?”

The driver explains, “Circle flies are a type that loves horses—they tend to circle a horse’s rear end. That’s why they’re called circle flies.”

The patrolman smirks, catching the hint. “Really? Interesting… but I hope you’re not suggesting I’m a horse’s rear end. You wouldn’t say that about a law officer, would you?”

“Oh, no sir!” the driver protests. “I have the utmost respect for police and would never imply such a thing. I’m sorry if it came across that way.”

The officer nods. “Yeah, didn’t think so.”

The driver adds with a grin, “But there’s no fooling those circle flies, is there?”

Sue phones her husband at work

Sue phones her husband at work,

” Dan, do you have time for a chat?”

“Sorry, darling, this is not a good time – I’m about to go into a board meeting.”

“But this won’t take long,” Sue says,

“I just want to tell you some good news and some bad news.”

“I really haven’t the time,” says Dan,

” so just quickly tell me the good news.”

“Oh, all right then, the good news is that the airbag on your brand new Mercedes works very well.”

An accountant is in a car travelling

An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm.

They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says,

“You re pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?”

The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says,

“One thousand, eight hundred and thirty-two.”

The farmer is amazed.

“Exactly right”, he says. “How did you work that out so fast?”

“Easy,” says the accountant

“I counted the number of feet and divided by 4.”