A soldier approached a nun

Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt.

I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed…

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked,

“Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from u*der her ski*t and said,

“I can’t thank you enough, sister.

You see, I don’t want to go to Syria.

” The nun said, “I understand completely.

” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great p@ir of l*gs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little hi*hEr,

you would have seen a great p@!r of b@||s….

I don’t want to go to Syria either.”

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2nd joke: A man and his guard dog

A man was very proud of his guard dog,

he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded.

One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?”

Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?”

She said “I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!” “What?”

Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?” “A Peke” Replied the woman.

“A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?”

“I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.