I proposed to my girlfriend, Becky, during her family gathering. When she saw the ring, she frowned and snapped loudly, “Is this all I’m worth?” I was 21 and couldn’t afford more. I never saw her again. I removed her from all my socials.
2 weeks later, her dad called in tears. His voice was shaking. I froze when he told me, “Son, we need your help! Please come see Becky!”
Before I could respond, he said, “After you two broke up, she became so depressed that she got involved with a much older man. Now she wants to marry him! He’s 18 years older. You’re the only one who can stop her from making this reckless decision.”
I hung up. I had moved on and realized I was much better off without her. Her father had always looked down on me, treating me as if I were beneath them. Now, this felt like karma.
- From the age of 17 until I turned 20, I befriended, dated, and was involved with three girls who were already in serious relationships.
After getting married and having our first child, my wife cheated on me with three different guys—the last of whom she is still with. They are having her second child, the one I wanted to give her.
- One time, I went to a museum/showroom, and my mother and I went to get food. I went to grab and reserve a table, so I sat down while my mom went to get some food. Then this one guy comes and starts trying to take the other chair at the table.
So I tell him, “There’s someone sitting there,” but he doesn’t listen and takes it away anyway. At the time, I was still too little to really do anything about it. Then I see the guy sit down in the chair with his food. When the guy sat down, the chair started breaking, and the food spilled all over him.
- During my lunch break at work a few years ago, I ran over to this convenience store that had a lunch-of-the-day special. That day, it was spaghetti.
I walked into the store, headed to the back to the coolers to grab a drink, and started walking over to the line that had formed to grab a lunch. This older woman saw me walking and literally strong-armed me to get in front of me. She full-on shoulder-checked me.
She gets two orders of spaghetti. They come in a Styrofoam compartment tray. She walks toward the door, and someone she knows comes in, so she’s saying hi. I pay for my food, and I’m out the door.
As I’m walking to my truck, I hear a loud “OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF.” I turn around, and this woman has dropped the plate, and spaghetti and meat sauce are all over her white shirt.
- A bee was flying around my ex-sister-in-law. I don’t like her and didn’t tell her, so I could watch her get stung.
It stung me.
- I was starving. I opened the office fridge and saw a fancy-looking sandwich. Turkey, avocado, crispy bacon—way better than my sad peanut butter and jelly. I looked around. No one was watching. I grabbed it, ate every bite, and tossed the wrapper like it never existed.
The next day, I brought my own sandwich—same peanut butter and jelly. I took a big bite and gagged. My tongue was on fire. My throat burned. I rushed to the sink, chugging water.
Then I saw the sticky note in the fridge: “To the person who stole my lunch, I added a little something special to yours today. Enjoy. :)”
- I work at an auto parts store. This one guy stole some $60 headlights and literally sprinted out the door. We went to look outside to try and get his license plate, just in time to see him speed off, hit a curb, and blow out his tire. We called the cops, and he got arrested and had to have his car towed.
- Standing at the counter of the pizza place I work at, a lady storms in and slams a pizza down on the counter. “This isn’t the pizza I ordered. What are you going to do about it?” she asked.
I look at the pizza, then at my buddy Nick, and turn back to her and say, “Nothing.” She then goes on a long rant, telling us how we are going to be fired, how stupid and incompetent we were, then asked why we weren’t going to do anything.
I said, “Because that pizza came from the pizza shop across the street.” I think she actually managed to shrink in size, looking so pathetic, I almost felt bad for laughing until tears dripped down my face.
