Ma and Pa were two country folks living simple on their little farm.
One day, Pa noticed that the pit under the outhouse had finally filled up.
Scratching his head, he went inside and told Ma.
“Well, why don’t you go ask that boy down the road?” Ma suggested.
“He’s college-educated—oughta know everything.”
So Pa drove over, explained the problem, and the young man said, “Easy.
Get yourself two sticks of dynamite. Light ‘em both—one burns fast, the other slow.
The first blast will launch the outhouse into the air, and while it’s up there, the second blast will clear the hole.
Then the outhouse will drop right back where it belongs.” Pa thought that sounded mighty clever.
He bought the dynamite, set it in place, lit the fuses, and ran to hide behind a tree.
Right then, Ma rushed out of the house and slipped into the outhouse without Pa noticing.
The first blast shook the ground—KA-BOOM! Up went the outhouse, flying like a rocket.
The second one blew, and the mess spread across the farm like a storm cloud.
Finally, the outhouse crashed back down, landing perfectly over the pit.
Panicked, Pa ran over, yanked open the door, and shouted, “Ma, you okay in there?!”
Ma straightened herself, sighed, and said, “Well, I’m fine… but thank goodness I wasn’t sneezin’ in the kitchen!”
2nd joke: A lady is having a bad day
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas.
She’s down to her last $50.
Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?”
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?”
He walks away.
Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table.
Thinking maybe she’d won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd.
The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned.
He asks, “What happened? Is she all right?”
The operator replies, “I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up.