One night, an old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
There’s absolute silence in the bar.
Then, in a very deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it’s only fair, given that you’re blind, there are five things that you should know:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot-tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.”
After a brief pause, she says, “Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “Nope… not if I’ve gotta explain it five times.”
A woman was driving home
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
She stopped the car and asked the woman if she’d like a ride.
The woman thanked her and got in the car.
After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag.
The driver said, “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”
The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, “Good trade.”
Pharmacist finally ask Mr. Johnson
He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant.
Upon returning home, his wife said “I’ve been thinking, there’s no reason we can’t go for a month.”
Mr. Johnson went back to the pharmacy and asked for 12 bottles of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant.
When he returned his wife said, “Since the children are on their own, what’s stopping us from cruising the world?”
He went back and bought 200 bottles of seasick pills and more tubes of lubricant.
The pharmacist finally had to ask: “You know, Mr. Johnson, I don’t mean to pry,
but if it makes you that sick, why the hell do you do it?”