One morning when I was going out of the house I met my neighbor’s daughter who was pregnant.
When I returned home I saw her father closing the door.
I told him: “Your daughter hasn’t married yet I wonder how it is possible a girl without any husband be pregnant?
For a moment her father with a bitter smile said: “She isn’t pregnant;
it is all wind in her belly. She farts and would recovery.”
Next year perchance I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms.
Next day when I was going out facing her father so I told him:
“I saw your daughter with her fart in her arms.”
2nd joke: My Wife is Cheating On Me
I’m furious, my wife is cheating on me with a painter.
I found traces of paint in the bed.
It’s good that with a painter, and mine cheats on me with a truck.
“That’s enough, how about a truck?”
“I found a driver in bed.”
3rd Joke: The Older Man Boasts To The Doctor
A 92 year old man went to the doctor for his annual check-up.
The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 92 year old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better!”
“I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.”
“What do you think about that, doc?”
The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story.
“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.”
“One day he was setting off to go hunting, but being a bit absent minded, he accidentally forgot to take his ammunition.”
“As he neared a lake, he came across a very nice beaver frolicking at the water’s edge.”
“By now, he realized he had left his ammo at home, and so, he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.”
“Nonetheless, he lifted his favorite hunting rifle, aimed down the sites, and yelled ‘bang bang’.”
“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver was slain.”
“Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.
Theelder man scatched his chin thoughtfully, then said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”
The doctor nodded,
“My thoughts exactly.”