A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
‘Mommy,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’
‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied. ‘It’s not polite.’
‘OK’, the little girl says, ‘How much do you weigh?’
‘Now really,’ the mother says, ‘those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’
Undaunted, the little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’
‘That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’ The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
‘My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,’ the little girl says to her friend.
‘Well,’ says the friend, ‘all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.’
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, ‘I know how old you are. You are 32.’
The mother is surprised and asks, ‘How did you find that out?’
‘I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.’
The mother is past surprised and shocked now. ‘How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?’
And, the little girl says triumphantly, ‘I know why you and daddy got a divorce.’
‘Oh really?’ the mother asks. ‘Why?’
‘Because you got an F in s.3.x.’
2nd joke: Father ask who always obeys mommy
There was a father who called his 5 small children together.
As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle.
He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them.
He asked them “who is the most obedient?”
Five sets of eyes looked up at him.
Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked,
“ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?”
One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father.
“You win!” exclaimed the child.